where are all the subversive moms?

i have a 3 year old. i have been to exactly 1 “new mothers” group and 1 play group. apparently i am an anomaly in this area. i do not go to church. hell, i’m not even a christian in the vaguest sense of the word. this separates me from about 99% of the mothers in this area. you would think i lived in the midwest, not california. i have tattoos, and up until my 30th birthday, i had facial piercings. (i started thinking i looked too old to have an eyebrow ring, when in reality, my ID is scrutinized when i buy smokes) and i smoke (but not at the park). and i’m a flaming liberal. and i’m weird. and i’m in art school. and and and and……

don’t get me wrong, some moms are friendly when i see them at the park. but they NEVER come up to me. i have to initiate contact. it is usually evident right away that we will not be fast friends.

i have even gotten the “so when are you having more children?” question from weary mothers with that “sex is for procreating” look in their eyes. one even told me that i NEEDED to have more kids. i told her when my husband gets a uterus, we’d talk. then i turned on a heel and marched off.

but the truth is, my son needs play dates. i think he’s tired of the MAMA show - ALL DAY, EVERYDAY! i don’t blame him, i get sick of me too. (in fact, i’m pretty sick of me right now, so i’m drinking. haha!!)

WTF? i just don’t get it! how come one needs to be a “member” somewhere so my kid can have friends? all my friends have kids that are older, or kids that are babies, or no kids at all. it always strikes me as odd that these women have to bring up what church they go to within the first 5 minutes. like i care. but i keep my mouth shut because obviously their church is so super-duper important to them. so important that they will gladly alienate anyone who doesn’t agree with their choice in “shepherds”. i, however, am not fond of being a sheep.

*update* (like you care, i know)  i have contacted a playgroup here in the area that i found out about from a mom at wal-mart of all places.  crazy how kids become fast friends in the cheese section.  here’s to hoping!