cuteness!

The babe is a keeper.  totally cute and has been smiling at me for almost a month now.  which is really very good because i was starting to think he would be serious.  baby smiles keep us from eating our young.  or throwing them out the window anyway.

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Looking forward, Looking back

It seems 2009 sucked for many people.  We were no different.

sure there were bright spots.   Rowan being born was definitely the brightest.

But, there were plenty of things that really sucked for us to be sure.  We lost our house.  We filed bankruptcy.  We hate our rental.  I hated being pregnant.  And to top it all off, I gained a ton of weight in my butt and thighs rendering me unable to wear most of my pants.  i’m living in sweats and stretchy pregnancy pants.  Fashonista is not a label I wear.

So to 2009 i say GOOD RIDDANCE.  Bring on 2010.

This year I will lose this weight.  This year we will get our finances in order.  This year I will start sewing again.  This year I will yell less, eat better, and return library books on time.

I also resolve to sing along in the car to my ABBA cd as loud as i can so all can rejoice in FERNANDO!  That is a resolution I can definitely stick to.

I make no promisies about eating junk food while watching The Biggest Loser though.  that’s just tradition.

now, on to cuter topics.  Rowan.  he is a cutie.  high-maintenance for sure, but cute.

and now he’s crying so i have to get going though.  maybe this year i can blog more.  maybe….

wow. i totally failed NaBloPoMo.

but then again, i do have a newborn.  i think it’s a pretty good excuse.

as for the newborn.  he’s doing wonderful.  he’s getting big and steals my heart daily.

but i am soooooooo done having babies.  i hate pregnancy.  it sucks ass.  other things i think suck ass: having the baby (and by that i mean delivering the baby) and breastfeeding the baby.  i know i’ll get shit, especially for that last part, but really.  i hate doing it.  i hate feeling like a cow.  so i quit.  my baby is a formula baby!  not just that, but a GENERIC formula baby!  that’s right, i’m feeding him the cheap stuff because honestly, it’s all pretty much the same anyway.  sure, individual babies react differently to the small variations among the different formulas.  but in the end, all are regulated by the FDA to meet certain nutritional requirements.  i refuse to believe that my baby will be any worse for wear by being bottle fed.  in fact, i think he will be better off because i’m better rested and less resentful.  happy mama = happy baby.

now, i understand that some people out there are nipple nazis and think that i you don’t breastfeed your child you might as well be slipping arsenic in the bottle.   and to them i say “FUCK. YOU.”  (and since this is my blog and i can choose what comments to post, if you comment here going on and on about how bad i am and how i should be breastfeeding, well, i’m not gonna approve it.  so there.  nah.)

i also am fully aware that breastfeeding your child is good.  i am also jealous of the women who can do it with smiles on their faces.  i am not one of those women.  i like to sleep.  i want to be able to hand off the baby to his father to feed him.  i treasure the fact that formula takes longer to digest so i get a few more hours of sleep at night before getting up to feed him.  life is much better for us this way.

but you…  if you can breastfeed and you like/love it…  good on you!  i’m proud of you!

as a last thought, here is a REALLY good article about, well, the case against breastfeeding.  it has some really good points and despite the title, it is not suggesting no woman breastfeeds her kid.  it has a lot of history behind the breastfeeding movement of the last 30, 40, 50 years.  (maybe longer)  and no, it was not “sponsored” by a pharmaceutical company who is trying to discourage breastfeeding or to push formula.  it’s just a thoughtful, well laid out article that utilizes critical thinking.  amazing.

Introducing…..

Rowan!!!

Born on 10-22-09, 8 lbs 6 oz, 19.5 inches long at 1:13pm.  Mama is recovering from the c-section with some minor complications with the recovery, but we won’t go into details.  The main thing is I’ll be fine.

The Dictator is an awesome big brother.   Sure, there are some adjustments to be made, but over all he is handling the changes really well.

Daddy is off work to be home with his family for the next month.  We are all so lucky for this.  I’m on some major pain meds so having him home is awesome especially because i can’t drive!

Well, I’m going to keep this short today.  However, November is NaBloPoMo (or National Blog Posting Month) and i’m going to participate.  Having to post something everyday just might get me back in the habit of blogging again.

And, just in case you haven’t noticed, I’m also going to try to utilize the “shift” key more often and do things like CAPITALIZE!!!  Whee!  I’m going nuts here!  it must be all the postpartum hormones. Bear with me though, it’s had to break the habit of not caring about capital letters.

I’m also considering changing up the theme of the blog.  Let me know what you think of the changes as they happen.

checking in

so T minus 13 days and counting until i am done with this miserable stage.  i envy women who like being pregnant.  i most definitely do NOT like this at all.  i am grumpy all the time, my feel are totally swollen, sometimes it’s my hands, i’ve started having these totally crazy dreams fueled by anxiety about actually having the baby, my back hurts, my stomach muscles are stretched beyond help or usefulness, i can’t reach my toes to take off the 4 month old nail polish that desperately needs to come off, etc., etc…

see, i’m just a miserable piece of human right now.

the dictator is being great right now.  ok, he’s being great when he’s not acting all 4 years old like.  he seems to have a whole bunch of listening problems these days, but he is, well, 4.  other than that, he’s very helpful picking things up off the floor for me and retrieving items for me that would require me to actually exert more effort that they are actually worth.  it’s like having my own personal indentured servant.  oh, well, i guess in a way he is…  but really cute and gives me lots of kisses.

i’m kind of hoping this kid comes a little early though.  if not, at least i’m in the final 2 weeks.  i can’t take looking like this for much longer:

on the upside, due to my need to have something to do with my hands, i have been doing some beadwork again.  it kills my back to sit upright for so long, but the act of stringing the beads can make me really zone out and push through the pain. so at least there’s that.

ok, more later.  and i promise i will update soon after the baby comes.  i might even divulge his name!

all i would do is bitch anyway

i was just called a pregnant slacker in regards to my lack of blogging these days.   he isn’t wrong actually.  i have been a pregnant slacker.  part of it is, i have been pretty busy with moving, the dictator, uh…  hgtv, food network, um…  so yeah, there’s that.  also, i am easily stressed these days about so much of what is going on politically that i can’t even be bothered to blog about them.  if i were to be blogging about some of the things that i care about they would include:

1- birthers.  you know, those crazy fucks who insist that President Obama was not born in the US and that his Hawaiian birth certificate is fake.  proved of course, with their own faked Kenyan birth certificate.

2-the health care debate.  so many people have it so wrong it’s not even funny.  (ok, the bit from Representative Barney Frank was pretty funny)  so, if you have a minute, read THIS and watch THIS.

otherwise, i might just bore you with how much i hate being pregnant, how uncomfortable i am, how much i just want this part to be over, how much i want a beer and a cigarette, etc.  so see, it’s best that i not blog too much these days lest i get to whiny and complain too much.

but at least i have my computer back!!

mac go boom. or fizzzzzzzzzzzle….

my confuser hard drive crashed. bad news. waiting for apple to give it back with a new, clean HD. sad that so much is lost. will type more later. wait, i should be typing in complete sentences as this is not a status update. or maybe it is. whatever.

oh lawdy lawdy!

12 more weeks to go!  i’m in the home stretch of this pregnancy and getting more uncomfortable everyday.  the baby spends a lot of time playing punch-out in my uterus.  of course, when he doesn’t move a whole lot, i start to freak out.  like right now, he isn’t moving much today.  i’m sure he’ll get more active later in the day as he usually does, but still, it’s unnerving.

so other than feeling huge and still trying to keep up with the Dictator, i’ve been sitting on my ass watching a lot of HGTV and Food Network.  probably not a good idea for a couple of reasons.  first of all, i am really susceptible to food suggestion.  one night i was watching Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives and they had something on with brown gravy.  i HAD to have mashed potatoes and gravy that night.  in fact, that was ALL i had for dinner that night.

another reason i shouldn’t be watching so much TV is that i should be PACKING.  yup, we are moving.  we are actually going to be living right down the street from my mom which will be nice.  turns out we are just another victim of the economic crisis.  between the cut in my husband’s pay, the lack of a yearly raise, me not working, the gas price increase (last year’s and the slowly creeping of this summer’s prices), the coming baby, etc etc.. we are jumping ship.  we have come to the realization that we don’t want to be here as long as it will take to make our money back on this house.  so we are trying our hand at a short-sale.  hopefully we can get out of this relatively unscathed.

i am excited about the house we are renting though.  it’s bigger than the house we have now and will cost us less per month than our mortgage now.  it has a large loft which will be my sewing room and one of the boy’s bedrooms has dragonflies all over the walls.  D wants that room and i’m not surprised.  it’s really close to a library and a playground.  plus, it’s walking distance to the school i went to for the last half of 6th grade.  (i went to a lot of elementary schools.)

and now for something completely different.

i have a new celebrity crush.  if you know me, you know that looks don’t do as much for me as brains, so my new crush might not come as a HUGE surprise.  Dr. Neil DeGrasse Tyson.

he’s the host of Nova Science Now.  what a fantastic show.  i’m irritated i just recently discovered it!  Dr. Tyson has been on other programs i’ve seen and i’ve always thought he was awesome.  anyway, check out the show if you haven’t before.  it’s on PBS.

that’s all for me today.  maybe after i get my brain back i will be able to write better blog posts.

happy 4th of July!

jump, kick, flip

i’m sitting here trying to ignore the back-flips being done in my abdomen.  i press gently with my right hand under my ribs on the right side and i feel something.  is it a foot?  a shoulder?  what is little R doing in there?  poking around some more (because i can’t just leave well enough alone), he freezes.  he freezes like he does when D puts his hand on my belly to feel his baby brother move.

“I’ll NEVER get to feel the baby move!!” he whines at me this morning.  in my early morning (8:30) daze, i explain that not only will he be able to FEEL the baby move, he will in fact SEE the baby move and if his baby brother is anything like he was, hiccups will commence 2-3 times a day and my entire belly will jump rhythmically.   for a week now, D has been rushing over every time i tell him the baby is movin’ around.  for a week now, D has been disappointed.  little does he know.

only 4 more months to go!  i have a birth-date now- 10/22/09.  that’s the day i get cut!  i’m so not looking forward to actually having the baby (either way sucks in my opinion.  can’t they just teleport the baby out?) but the trade-off is well worth it.  i am looking forward to meeting the kid.